Friday, 23 November 2012
Well, in the case of Her Ladyship I’ve had to gaze out on several pairs of greying winter draws hanging on the line.
“Better get them washed first Old Girl,” she announces without a hint of embarrassment as they hang dripping from the washing line, advertising the fact that they permanently show that her backside has stretched them a bit. “Perhaps I ought to think about buying some new ones. There again, these are very comfortable.”
Hmmph. Comfortable indeed… they look like three bell tents hanging upside down. No shape, no shape in them at all.
“It’s getting colder now and we’ve been having book signings in Swansea and the NEC between the 16th and 18th November. What a haul that was. Usually Madam has been driving me to them, but in the case of the Classic Car Show at the NEC, she told me that she was putting me on a trailer ‘So I don’t get dirty!’ Well luckily for her, we had a spate of dry weather in the days running up to and the 215 mile trip itself. So I actually got there in as clean a state as I left. But I’ve sensed that Her Ladyship has been totally stressed out. The problem is that she is on an opiate pain killer.
“It’s melting my brain Old Girl,” she told me. “But it does sort the back pain and I can move around. The trouble is that I just cannot remember things and I write lists and then can’t remember where I put them.” Nothing changed there then!
I enjoyed the attention at the NEC. Even you know who was quite pleased with the attention I was getting. She wasn’t so pleased at the ‘Petrol Heads’ who simply wouldn’t buy my books. We still sold quite a few though, mainly to the wives of the ‘Petrol Heads’.
The journey home was awful. The heavens opened and I was soaked to the skin, both inside and out. Her Ladyship reassured me that we had to plod on and get home, so it was relentless.
“You are in a state Old Girl,” she said when she unloaded me. “I’m going to have to clean you up before we go to Picton and Pembroke Castles at the end of the month.” You mean there’s more of this? For heaven’s sake, I’m usually put quietly to bed this time of year, while ‘you know who’ hauls out the Grey One. I think I might go on strike. At least when they haul her in for the surgery on her back, I will get 6 weeks of peace and quiet.